


The Winter Soldiers

by wintersoldier_but_i_knew_him1



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Captain America: The First Avenger, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Psychological Torture, Recovery, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-05-29 05:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6362041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersoldier_but_i_knew_him1/pseuds/wintersoldier_but_i_knew_him1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What do we do?” The woman asked, her focus still remaining on the photo of Sophie taken in 1942. She was wearing a nurse uniform, her raven coloured hair tucked behind her.<br/>“Find answers,” the man replied.<br/>They didn’t move. The man and the woman stayed frozen in front of the memorial as the crowds came and went. They studied everything, copying it all to memory. The answers started here with Bucky and Sophie Barnes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Finding Answers

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfiction posted here. Hope you enjoy it. It will involve more characters but I am still writing and I might change my mind on where I want this to go so, I want to keep this as open as I can as far has tags and characters go. Thanks. Reviews wanted.

The Smithsonian, Washington DC, 2014

The Captain America exhibit was crowded with people of all different ages, admiring the brave and courageous story of a national war hero. Young kids measured their height in comparison to Steven Grant Rogers, before and after the serum that made him a hero, their parents kneeling down beside them and whispering “maybe one day you’ll be a hero too.” The elderly looked at the memorial in awe, some remembering a time when Captain America was still fighting the Nazi’s, others remembering old war stories passed down from their parents. 

They were all here for Captain America, except one man and one woman. They walked among everyone else, unnoticed. They were here for something much bigger, the truth. They stared up at the memorial for Captain America’s childhood friends, James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes and Josephine Sophie Barnes. 

Bucky was the only Howling Commando to give his life. Josephine, who went by Sophie, followed her brother and friend into battle as a nurse, although she survived the war, she went missing a year later. Nobody knows what happened to her, until now.

“What do we do?” The woman asked, her focus still remaining on the photo of Sophie taken in 1942. She was wearing a nurse uniform, her raven coloured hair tucked behind her. 

“Find answers,” the man replied. 

They didn’t move. The man and the woman stayed frozen in front of the memorial as the crowds came and went. They studied everything, copying it all to memory. The answers started here with Bucky and Sophie Barnes.

_____

Brooklyn, New York March 1942

Sophie hated going to the movies alone. To her, the movies were an experience meant to be shared with others. She wanted someone to share popcorn with, someone to laugh with when something funny happened. 

When she was growing up, going to the movies was a big family occasion. No matter how old Sophie and Bucky got, they would still join their parents but they didn’t go as often anymore. Sometimes, Steve would come along too. Those were always the best outings. Only if he had the extra money; he refused to let anyone pay for him. Steve didn’t want handouts.

Today, Steve came to Sophie’s rescue and joined her at the movies so she wouldn’t be alone. Evelyn, Sophie’s friend cancelled on their plans because some boy invited her out instead. This was a common occurrence in their friendship. 

Steve knew how Sophie felt about the movies so, when he stood up to that jerk, it was for her. It was also for the soldiers overseas. Those men were laying down their lives. How hard was it to sit and watch a small advertisement about the war?

“Steve, please ignore him,” Sophie whispered after Steve asked the man to show some respect. She didn’t want Steve to get into another fight. “He isn’t worth it.”

The man continued yelling to start the film and Steve didn’t listen, “Hey, why don’t you shut up.”

The man in front of them stood up, his body towering over Sophie and Steve. He was twice the size of Steve. Sophie’s stomach sank, knowing Steve would not back down when the man suggested that they go outside. It was not the first time Sophie witnessed Steve getting himself into trouble; she doubted it would be the last too.

Steve left the theatre with the man. Sophie followed them, despite Steve telling her to stay and enjoy the movie. As if she could when she knew Steve was out there getting hurt.  
“Leave him alone,” Sophie ordered. “He was only asking you to be quiet and respectful.” 

“Oh, so you need a dame to fight for you?” The man mocked Steve, grasping the collar of his shirt. “Well, she’s a pretty one, ain’t she?” 

The man took a step toward Sophie, Steve stupidly swung at him. The man lifted him off the ground like a rag doll. Steve started throwing punches but they weren’t doing any harm. The man laughed and punched Steve so hard he fell onto the trash cans. 

“Steve!” Sophie cried. She rushed to his side but, the man caught her by the arm before she reached him. She yelped as the man tightened his grip. Surely there would be bruises later. 

“Now where are you going, sweetheart?” The man pulled Sophie closer. He was much stronger than Sophie so, despite her efforts, she couldn’t get away. “Feisty, aren’t you? I like that.” He licked his lips.

Steve got up from the ground and got back into fighting position. The man looked at him in annoyance, “You just don’t know when to give up, do you?”

“I could do this all day.” Steve replied before getting punched again. The man raised his fist but, thankfully, Bucky, dressed in a military uniform, came up out of nowhere and stopped the man. Bucky dodged a punch, and hit him back. The man stumbled away and Bucky kicked him in the butt. 

“You okay?” Bucky examined his sister for any injuries aside from her arm, which was already turning purple. Sophie nodded. 

“I had him on the ropes,” Steve said, now standing upright, dusting off his clothes. 

Sophie wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth, “I told you not to fight him.” 

“She’s right Steve. Sometimes, I think you like getting punched.” Bucky reached down and picked up papers that must have fell out of Steve’s jacket during the fight. After moments glance, Bucky sighed, “How many times is this?”

Confused, Sophie took the papers out of her brother’s hands. They were enlistment papers that Steve had forged, again. “Oh, you’re from Paramus now? You know it's illegal to lie on your enlistment form.”

“Seriously, Jersey?” Bucky questioned, exhaustedly and slightly offended that Steve had picked New Jersey of all places. 

“You get your orders?” Steve asked, tentatively. Sophie braced herself for the answer. She knew the day would come when Bucky would go off to war and she had been dreading it, knowing it was getting closer and closer. The thought of Bucky fighting in the trenches haunted her dreams. Steve’s mother was a nurse, even helped out during the first war, and had told Sophie old stories about injured soldiers she tended too. 

“The 107th. Sergeant James Barnes shipping out for England first thing tomorrow,” Bucky beamed. He wanted to fight and the war was more than happy to gobble up innocent lives. The truth was simple; Bucky wouldn’t return the same, if he returned at all. Sophie hated to think like that. A world without her brother was something she couldn’t imagine.

“I should be going,” Steve scoffed. 

“No,” Sophie insisted. “None of you should be going.”

“People are dying, Soph. Innocent people. Somebody needs to take a stand. We have no right to do any less than that.”

“Come on, you guys,” Bucky jumped in, and turned to Steve, “My last night, got to get you cleaned up.”

The three of them walked down the alley, Bucky’s arms around Steve’s and Sophie’s shoulders, “Why? Where are we going?” 

“The Future.”

_____

Washington DC, 2014

The dark streets of the city were empty except for The Winter Soldiers. They walked aimlessly for hours, unsure of where to go. Hydra and S.H.E.I.L.D. were both in shambles, neither could be trusted. They had nowhere to go. All they had was each other but they didn’t even know who they were supposed to be. They wore the faces of Bucky and Sophie Barnes, Steve Rogers’ childhood friends, but they didn’t have the memories, not all of them. They shared what they did remember. 

He spoke about falling, and falling, and falling. He spoke about a man, Steve, calling for Bucky. He spoke about the pain, of landing, of being dragged in his broken state through the cold snow, of Zola removing the rest of his arm. 

She spoke about driving, and driving, and driving. She spoke about laughing with the tall, smiling, green eyed man. She spoke about the cars surrounding them, about the green eyed man fighting to protect her, about the men with guns knocking her out. 

The two of them sat in an alley, covered by shadows. She pulled out the cheap notebook that she bought from a convenience store. She drew a single line across the page and wrote 1923, the year Sophie was born, at one end. She put two more ticks near the beginning and put the years Steve and Bucky were born. 

“This is how we start piecing everything together,” she began adding all the other important dates from Sophie and Bucky’s life that she knew. She wrote down the year that Bucky was deployed; it was the same year that Steve became Captain America and Sophie became a nurse. She wrote down the year that Bucky and Sophie were first captured by Hydra and experimented on and Steve rescued them. She wrote down the year that Bucky fell of the train. She wrote down the year that Steve’s plane crashed and when Sophie returned home. She wrote down the year that Sophie disappeared. 

Then she added the events that were still in question. Like, when did Sophie meet the green eyed man? Did she meet him after the war? Or did Sophie always know him? Where were they going when the cars stopped them? 

She passed the notebook and pencil over so Bucky- or James- or the asset- or a winter soldier, she didn’t know what to call him or what he wanted to be called. She gave him the notebook so he could add his own questions or memories to the timeline.

Once they were finished with that (it didn’t take very long, their knowledge was limited, to say the least), they sat in silence, thinking over the failed mission. They spent the entire night in that alley but neither one slept. They needed to stay awake and vigilant for when Hydra came for them. They couldn’t shake the overwhelming feeling that punishment for their failed mission was just around the corner. Although, they didn’t remember what exact punishment or torture was pending but Hydra was never able to erase the feeling of pain they inflicted. 

No, that stayed with them.


	2. A Promise

Brooklyn, New York March 1942

Sophie decided to go home rather than join the boys at Howard Stark’s exhibit. If she knew her brother, Bucky would have lined up two dates for him and Steve. Hopefully, Steve would enjoy himself, although that was doubtful. But the boys deserved a night out, especially with Bucky leaving tomorrow. Sophie thought it best to leave them be and told Bucky she would meet him at his apartment.

So she told her parents that she was staying at Bucky’s apartment that night. They didn’t bother arguing with her about it. They knew how close Bucky and Sophie were. 

Sophie stayed up late and waited for Bucky to come home. The clock ticked with every passing second. She closed her eyes and pretended they were bombs blowing overhead. She imagined herself in the trenches, in the centre of the chaos and the constant noise was driving her mad. This was going to be Bucky’s reality for God knows how long. Soon, her eye lids dripped with blood and Sarah’s stories replayed in her head. Gunshot wounds. Infections. Screaming. Amputated limbs. Crying wives. Dead bodies, all the dead bodies. 

Sophie clutched the teddy bear her brother gave for her 7th birthday and sobbed. She was being selfish, deep down she knew that, but every inch of her wanted Bucky to stay. Every inch of her knew he wouldn’t. Sophie was never much of a crier but she counted this as a special occasion.

“Hey, I’m home,” Bucky called from the front door. Sophie attempted to wipe her tears away but they kept coming. It wouldn’t matter anyway; her blotchy face gave it all away. Bucky walked into the living room where Sophie was curled up on the sofa, “Ah, Soph, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine,” Sophie went to stand up from the couch; she didn’t want her brother to see like this. 

“Nope,” Bucky stopped her from leaving and sat her down on the sofa again. “You’re not alright. Now tell your awesome big brother whose ass he needs to kick. It’s gotta be quick, though.” Sophie crossed her arms and turned her head away, gazing out the window at the Brooklyn streets below. Bucky frowned; he was always able to cheer up his little sister. “Uh, is it that Donavan kid? Or is it little Ricky down the street again?” 

“No, you idiot, it’s you,” She snapped. “I don’t want you to go.”

Bucky sighed, putting his arm around Sophie’s shoulder. They sat in silence, staring at nothing in particular. This was not an abnormal experience for Sophie and Bucky. Whenever Sophie was upset about something, being left out of a game, Steve getting sick again, or just a bad day, Bucky stayed with her until she felt better. Usually he made stupid jokes or told some outrageous story, but this time was different. 

“I gotta go,” Bucky broke the silence. “Choice isn’t mine anymore. Those are my orders. Before you know, I’ll be back here keeping all the boys away from you.” 

“But what if you don’t come back?” Sophie whispered. 

“Then I don’t come back. You’ll have Steve. And it won’t even come to that. I’ll come home, I promise.” 

Sophie nodded in agreement. Steve would always be there for her. And she loved him for that but he wasn’t Bucky. Even thinking that made her feel bad. Steve was as much as a brother to her as Bucky was. Nothing was ever going to change that.

“Now c’mon brat, time for bed. We got an early morning.” That made Sophie smile, being called a brat. No one else called her that, expect for Steve, no one else was allowed. It was the same as when she called him an idiot. It was reserved just for them.

 

The next morning Sophie and Steve went to the train station to see Bucky off. The whole place was crowded with soldiers and their families, all saying goodbye. The whole experience made it even more real for Sophie. She wondered how many of these people would ever see each other again. As Bucky loaded his bag onto the train, Sophie closed her eyes and focussed on her breathing.

These men were ordinary. She recognized a few of them from around Brooklyn. One man went to school with Sophie, they graduated together. She didn’t know anything about him other than his name, Edward. He was only nineteen. Sophie thought about the life he had ahead of him and how it could all be snuffed out in a single moment.

Bucky was only six years older. What about his life? What about his future?

She felt Steve’s hand grasp hers, “He’ll be okay. It’s Bucky.” 

She wanted to ask Steve how he could be so sure, instead she nodded, squeezed his hand and forced a small smile. 

Bucky joined Sophie and Steve on the platform again. They didn’t have much time left. The other soldiers had started finding their seats, holding the hands of their family members through the windows of the train. Bucky sighed, as he noticed this. 

“Stay out of trouble,” Bucky pulled Steve into a hug. “I mean it, Steve. I’m counting on you to look after her.”

“I promise I won’t let her go on another date until you get back.” Steve joked, making light of the situation. Bucky always made sure he was home to meet the guys that Sophie went out with. He did the whole big brother speech and threatened to hurt all of them if they hurt her. A few times he had to keep that promise, but Sophie didn’t go out much. She did enjoy his speech though. 

Sophie teared up thinking about the times she sat in the kitchen, trying to giggle as Bucky rambled on about what happens to men who treat women properly. By the time she made it out the door with her date, he was white as a ghost.

“Hey, now,” Bucky let go of Steve and pulled Sophie into his arms. “I’ll be back so soon, you’ll wish I stayed gone longer. And I got a surprise for you.” 

Sophie glanced up, wiping her wet cheeks, “What?”

“I convinced mom and dad to let you move out and into my apartment while I’m gone. You’ll have to go have Sunday dinner with them and Steve has to check in on you every once and a while but, for the most part you get to enjoy your new freedom.” 

Bucky slipped the apartment keys into her hands. This is what Sophie had been waiting for. When Bucky moved out and Sophie finished school, she tried to convince her parents to let her live with Bucky. Bucky, of course, was fine with it. Her parents didn’t think it was appropriate for a young woman to live on her own. Even if she was going to be with Bucky, it just wasn’t okay.

“How? How did you manage that?” Sophie said in amazement. 

“What can I say? I’m a miracle worker.” Bucky shrugged. “And mom and dad’s favourite.” 

Sophie slapped his arm, “You’re the worst.”

A voice announced that the train was going to leave and that the soldiers should get in their seats. Bucky gave a sad smile to Sophie and Steve, hugged them both again. 

“You better keep your promise,” Sophie warned. 

“Always,” Bucky swore before climbing onto the train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy. Please let me know what you think. Next chapter to be posted soon.


	3. You Are Needed Now

Brooklyn, New York, 1942 

Sophie and Steve went back to Bucky’s apartment – well, it was Sophie’s now. Sophie was quiet the entire way home. Steve had attempted to talk to her but only received short, uninterested answers so, he gave up. 

Sophie ran her fingers over the apartment keys in her pocket. Suddenly, she didn’t want them. They didn’t belong to her. They belonged to Bucky. You’re just holding on to them for now, she tried to tell herself, Bucky will get them back. 

“Do you want me to come in?” Steve asked when they reached the door, he pulled at a loose thread on his shirt. He seemed nervous, like he needed to be somewhere but, didn’t want to leave Sophie. She picked up on this.

“If you need to go, Steve, than you can go. I’ll be fine.” She nodded. 

Steve shifted uncomfortably on his feet, “I know but, I promised Buck I’d look out for you and he just left. I don’t want to leave if you need me to stay.”

Sophie rolled her eyes, “I’m not a porcelain doll, Steve. I won’t break. You go ahead. I’ll be fine. I think I’m going to meet up with Evelyn anyway.” 

That was a lie. The last thing she wanted right now was to talk to Evelyn. Evelyn would tell her that she needed to get out and have fun, put good use to her new independence. They’d probably go out dancing and Evelyn would spend the whole night with some man she met, leaving Sophie standing awkwardly at the back wondering why Evelyn spends her time with men she didn’t care about. That was just the nature of her friendship.

“As long as you’re sure?” Steve hesitantly asked. Sophie nodded and gave Steve a small hug. “Okay, I’ll see you later.” 

Sophie watched Steve walk down the stairs and she closed the door once he was out of sight. With her back against the door, she scanned the apartment, the dark green sofa, the plain wooden coffee table and matching end tables, the lightly coloured walls. She found herself moving toward the end of the hallway and entering the last room; Bucky’s room. It smelled like Bucky, his cologne and shampoo. Her chest seized up and her breath was caught in her lungs. Bucky was never just her brother. He was her best-friend. Sophie, Steve and Bucky grew up together. Bucky never left Sophie out of anything, despite her being six years younger. If their parents let her go out, she was always with Bucky and Steve. 

She grabbed the blanket at the foot of his bed and brought it into the guest room, which was really her room anytime she stayed over. She changed into her nightgown and crawled between the sheets, pulling the blanket over her. Closing her eyes, she tried to sleep.

 

Sophie had been sound asleep when a loud banging on the door woke her up. She sat up in the bed, pushed the blankets away and sighed. Sophie could have slept all day given the chance. She spent most of the night awake, tossing and turning before exhaustion took over. 

When Sophie opened the front, disheveled and confused, she didn’t expect Steve to be standing on the other side. “Steve? What are you doing? Why are you banging on the door? It’s early.”

“It’s eleven o’clock,” Steve informed him. Sophie looked behind her at the clock and it, indeed, said eleven. Guess Sophie slept longer than she thought. “I didn’t expect you to still be asleep.”

Sophie stepped out of the way, allowing Steve to enter the apartment, “Didn’t Bucky give you a spare key?” 

“I misplaced it,” Steve admitted. Sophie quickly went into her room and changed out of her nightgown and brushed her hair. When she joined Steve back in the living room she could feel the bags sagging from her eyes. “Rough night?”

Sophie shook her head, “Didn’t sleep well, that’s all.”

Steve looked at her with concerned eyes; he opened and closed his mouth like he was going to say something. “Look, Soph, I have something important to tell you.”

“Sure,” Sophie went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. “I’m all ears. Do you want a coffee?” 

“Um…no thanks,” Steve shuttered. “It’s very important Soph, I think you should sit down.”

Peering into the living room from the kitchen, Sophie glanced cautiously at Steve, “What’s wrong? Are you sick?” 

“No, no, nothing like that. I’m fine,” Steve assured. 

She exhaled a sigh of relief, “Don’t scare me like that.”

Steve’s immune system was never the best. Sophie had lost count with how many times spent with Steve at his bedside, reading to him, talking to him, waiting for him to get better. A few times were touch and go. 

“I got accepted,” Steve blurted out. 

Sophie furrowed her brow, “What are you talking about?”

“The army,” Steve explained. “I’m being considered for a special project. I start training right away.”

All the colour drained from Sophie face, “Please tell me this is a joke or a nightmare. That’s it, right? I’m asleep.” 

“I know you don’t agree, but this is the right thing to do. I have no right to sit around while men younger than me are fighting.” 

“Do you want to die?” Sophie asked bluntly. “Cause’ that’s what’s going to happen Steve.”

“At least I’ll die doing something I believe is right.”

“Why am even bothering?” She shook her head. “Nothing going to change your mind. Even if I could, it doesn’t matter now. Does it? It’s too late. You can’t run from the army.” There was a pause of silence before Sophie continued. “And what does right away mean?”

“Today,” Steve answered. “I came to say goodbye.”

Sophie’s world spun upside down again. First Bucky and now Steve, was the war going to take everyone in her life? She never had to think about her life without Steve and Bucky. They had always been there and she never had to think about what it would be like without them. Barely 24 hours since Bucky left, Steve had to leave too. Sophie had been worrying enough about Bucky. But Steve was different. Steve had never won a fist fight in his life. And this was war. This wasn’t a normal fight with some jerk in a back alley. 

“You better get going, you don’t want to be late,” Sophie whispered. 

“Take care of yourself, Soph. Don’t do anything Bucky would do.” Steve joked. Sophie smiled sadly and pulled Steve into a hug. 

“For once, Steve, take your own advice.”

 

2 Weeks Later

Sophie pushed herself up from the bed and went into the kitchen, ignoring the pain in her chest. She knew exactly what it was, it was not the first time it had happened. She also knew there was nothing she could do to make it go away. She had always been a natural worrier. She suspected the hole in her chest wouldn’t leave until Bucky and Steve were home. 

She made herself a sandwich for dinner and forced herself to eat. She made it halfway through before she felt the nausea coming on. She rushed to the bathroom and kneeled over the toilet but, nothing happened. She forced herself to keep it down. Then she looked at herself in the mirror, her face was sweaty, her hair slightly damp at the base, and her eyes watery. She shook her head at the sight. 

“Enough of this,” she whispered to herself. She wasn’t going to do this. She wasn’t going to sit around in a haze waiting for the days to go by. If Bucky were here he would tell her to stop sitting around and live her life. A couple of weeks had gone by since Steve and Bucky left and all she had done was worry and sleep. This wasn’t her.  
She decided she was going to get out of the apartment and do something, anything. After putting on a simple red day dress she left. The sun burned her eyes, with the blinds being closed she hadn’t had that much contact with the sun. 

A part of her expected the streets of Brooklyn to look a little dimmer but they didn’t. The world kept going on like nothing was happening. Sophie walked with no destination in mind. She found herself heading toward the cemetery where Steve’s mom was buried. 

Sarah Rogers had been a second mother to her. She was strong, loving, nurturing and brave. It was hard enough to raise a family these days with two parents. Sarah raised Steve by herself on a single salary. Sophie spent a lot of time with Sarah whenever Steve was sick. As she grew up, Sarah shared her stories from the hospital. She helped a lot of people. When Sarah died, it was like Sophie’s own mother had died. 

Sophie stood at her grave. The headstone read Sarah Rogers, Born November 15th 1895 Died June 5th 1940, Beloved Mother and Friend. Her grave was right beside Steve’s dad who died in the Great War when Steve was a baby. 

“I don’t know what to do Sarah,” Sophie spoke to the headstone. “I wish you were here to tell me what to do. I don’t want to lose them. All I can picture is them lying in the mud, full of bullet holes and I can’t help them. I can’t help any of them. Innocent people are dying and I feel like I should be doing something to help them, but what am I supposed to do.” 

Excuse me?” A woman who was a few years older than Sophie came up behind her. She was dressed in a black dress and heels, probably visiting a recently deceased family member. “I didn’t mean to overhear, but if you are serious about wanting to help with the war effort, you should join the Army Nurse Corps. You can help wounded soldiers here at home if you don’t want to go overseas. We need all the help we can get. Here’s a pamphlet, think it over.” The women handed her a pamphlet from her purse.

Sophie stared at the front of pamphlet, a picture of a young woman in a nurse uniform with the caption ‘You Are Needed Now’. She glanced at Sarah’s headstone one last time before she turned around to catch up to the woman, “I’m sorry, Miss, where do I sign up?”


End file.
